A Prayer

A Prayer

So, I tend to get distracted when I pray, so as an alternative to the traditional prayer (you know, head bowed, eyes closed) I like to write down my prayers. This was one such prayer that came to my mind last night.

Why am I so afraid to follow you? Am I really that stubborn? Do I honestly think that I can solve my life with just myself in control? I know that I can't. I am so tired of being of two minds. One mind to follow you, God, and onother to deny the thoughts of my first.

Why is the biggest enemy that I face myself? The path to you is so clear to me, but I feel paralysed. I can see what I need to do, and where I need to go, but my body cannot take me there. I need someone to carry me there, but I cannot bring myself to overcome my pride and ask for help. Grant me that. The power to overcome my own pride, turn to you, and give all of me to you.

God, help me to approach human self like a mountain that needs to be scaled. Show me that once I reach the peak, it is going to be a lot easier to go downhill. Reveal to me the blessings they say you have in store for my life. I keep hearing of them, and every once in a while I see a glimmer, but I know those things are just gold dust compared to the treasures that you have waiting for me. Crush me in your presence, so that you can gather the pieces of my broken life and put them in the order you intended.

Strike me down , and create an entirely new person. One who is worthy to pursue you. Silence all the voices of all influences, and let me hear your voice whisper your plans to me. Don't keep me in the dark. Expose me to what you have planned for me. Please remember me. Remember the humanity that still clings to me like a disease. Remove it so that I can be closer to you.