A Big 'Ol Bowl of the Good Stuff

A Big 'Ol Bowl of the Good Stuff

I don't know exactly inspired me to write this, but for some reason, tonight I know that God is good... Plain and simple. Everything that defines good is synonymous with all that God is. He is always there for me... Like a friend that I can't shake... Like a lost puppy who follows me from place to place. And to see Him, all I have to do is look. Because I know that He is right behind me. He is there. He is backing me up. I know that I don't ever have to be afraid of what lies ahead, because I know that He has seen it all. I don't have to tread lightly because if I fall, He will be there to pick me up if I do. He created the world, and all in it that is good. And I want to enjoy that. I want to enjoy what He has created for me to enjoy. To breathe the sweet air, and know that He is good. Fear seems so silly next to him. So trivial... Like an ant crawling on the leg of the statue of liberty. Scurrying about trying to achieve the impossible... All the things that try and hinder me are melted away in the presence of God. Nothing can stand up to something this good. It is impossible... God is amazing. Nuff said.

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"Remember kids, God made you special, and He loves you very much!"

"Remember kids, God made you special, and He loves you very much!"

There are so many times in my life when I look at myself and I hate what I see. A lonely and scared boy, trying to hide his blemishes from the world. Trying to appear normal in a world where "normal" is impossible to achieve. Trying to put on a bold front for the people that he must be strong for. On the inside, I am so frightened. I feel so flawed. So many nights I spend in my bed thinking and praying. So many nights I spend wondering if I will ever be fixed. If I will ever be right.

It's nights like this when I remember a phrase that Bob the tomato from Veggie Tales told me at the end of every episode. One that, for whatever reason, still echoes around my mind this very night. He told me "Remember, God made you special, and He loves you very much". It's these words that I try and take comfort in. The fact that God made me special means that I cannot be defective. He designed me just as I am. By saying I am flawed, am I not questioning his awesome power of creation? Whatever problems that I face, I can always face them knowing that God is bigger than them. He knew that I would come upon every issue that I have and will ever encounter. He probably even designed some of the things that I have to work though for whatever reason.

The second part of that phrase hits me too. "And He loves you very much". He does love me very much. And I am able to find peace in that. Knowing that God loves me so much that He would never allow anything to ever come my way that is too big for me to handle. God knows my limits better than I do, so I can rest easy in knowing that He knows what I can stand up to. It is hard for me to say during times of struggle, but I am glad that God knows what I can stand. I can know that anything that comes my way is there for the best. To strengthen and grow me, and plant even more love for Him in my life. I pray that I am able to see that in the midst of the struggles that I am going through now, and the things that I will continue to struggle with for the rest of my days on earth. Thank you for making me special, God. And thank you for your never ending love.

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"Are you out there, where the rainy days begin to feel rather sad?"

"Are you out there, where the rainy days begin to feel rather sad?"

This is an Owl City song called "West Coast Friendship" that I was listening to today. I have been bumming pretty badly lately, and this just kinda summed up where I am. It also makes me think of a very dear friend of mine. So yeah. Much love to Owl City for these amazing lyrics.

West Coast Friendship

Are you out there
Where the rainy days begin
To feel rather sad
And the walls are closing in
Like the darkness around me
It's so hard to look away
When the daylight doesn't ever stay
Above this dull apartment view
Oh, I will surround you

It's quite clear that I'm stuck here
So I'll devise a plan
And cut out a door in my new living room floor
The porch light is so bright
That I will quickly sneak down the dark metal shape
Of the rusty fire escape

I bought a one way ticket
Cause I knew I'd never see the ground
Unless I was aboard a jet plane
And we were going down
When I wiped the tears from my eyes
The warm water took me by surprise
And I woke up beside the ocean
I realized I must be in California

Aloha, my happy west coast friends
Do you feel alive
When the breaking waves arrive
And wash all around you
The beach homes and ocean side
Are quite well known by the evening tide
And we can sleep where we reside
With redwoods around us
The blue air is up there
And could I bring it down
I bottle it up and save it for a sweet summer night

I bought a one way ticket
Cause I knew I'd never see the ground
Unless I was aboard a jet plane
And we were going down
When I wiped the tears from my eyes
The warm water took me by surprise
And I woke up beside the ocean
I realized I must be in California
I must be in California

Am I awake or is this just a dream?

The new year is out here
And I will make a lovely list
Of your charms
So I'll never feel alone in your arms

I must be in California
I must be in California
I must be in California

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